Heart of Glass
by Rach CD McKenzie
Summary: Glass hearts will break. Ryan is sick. He is trying to hide it from the Cohens but how long can he keep his secret? Things get that little bit harder for the Cohens plus one. RM some SS
1. Falling

Hey guys! I'm Rachel and this is my second or third fic on here! Basically I love a lot of Ryan angst so expect a lot of it in this story! I'm going to leave things a bit of mystery so please please read and tell me what you think and I will post the next part! Be gentle with me and review! Thanks guys! I also write the Fic Close to you so please check it out!

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Falling…faster and faster. The wind whipping around him as he plunged deeper and deeper into the darkness below, the air whistling though his ears as he gasped for a breath of air that never came. His eyes wide with terror as the ground drew nearer and nearer. The rain was pouring down as lightning illuminated the dark stormy sky above, cold drops spattering his face as he fell, arms flailing and screaming soundlessly the ground drawing closer, closer…closer…until…BANG

Ryan awoke with a start gasping for air his trembling body soaked in a film of cold sweat as his heart raced and blood rushed in his ears. He scrambled out of bed his legs caught in his tangled bed sheets as he stumbled towards the bathroom blindly still struggling to draw breath as he pulled the bathroom door open and shakily felt around for the light switch. Feeling the cool plastic beneath his fingers he pressed the switch illuminating the small bathroom in light. Squinting against the sudden brightness his heart still hammering in his chest and in his ears, he turned on the taps causing water to gush out rapidly. He struggled to draw breath, his chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it and his racing heart throbbed slightly on every other beat. He swallowed hard and bent over the sink cupping the cool water in his hands and throwing it over his face washing away the sweat and cooling him instantly. His heart slowed slightly and he found his tight chest easing slightly and he gulped down the air around him. Still leaning over the sink he breathed deeply and slowly, shutting his eyes and sighing.

_It was just a dream Atwood, don't be so pussy…_

He opened his eyes and gradually straightened up, but he was knocked back by a wave of dizziness causing him to stumble slightly. The room spun around him as he reached out to the side for support and steadied himself as he started to sweat again. He groaned closing his eyes again and swaying slightly on the spot. Why did he feel like this? He felt so crappy. Now sure he wasn't about to collapse, Ryan took a few tentative steps towards the door trembling from head to toe. Using various pieces of furniture around the room for support he managed to stumble shakily back to bed, he collapsed down onto the king size and let his head his the pillow as his chest continually ached dully. Pulling the duvet over him as he began to shiver he sighed and closed his eyes praying he'd feel better in the morning…

The Next Morning

Ryan felt his eyelids flutter slowly open as the buzzing of his alarm clock shook him from his uneasy sleep. Yawning widely and stretching, he reached across and turned off his alarm before sinking back against his pillows and sighing heavily. Blinking the sleep from his eyes he slowly sat up expecting another wave of dizziness but none came…He blinked a few more times before swinging his legs out of bed and glancing out the window, golden Californian sunshine was pouring through the gaps in the blinds and illuminating the room in orange light and he could see Sandy pouring coffee at the kitchen window and whistling to himself. He sighed heavily his head pounding slightly as he shuffled over towards the bathroom door scratching the back of his head and ruffling his untidy hair as he went. He had probably had a grand total of three and a half hours sleep and now he had school and an exam to deal with…great, just great. What a fantastic morning this was turning out to be.

Meanwhile

Sandy took a long sip of his coffee and sighed, swirling the black steaming liquid around in his cup he stifled a yawn and looked out the window to the blue coastline below. He smiled slightly and leant against the counter, he looked at his watch. 7:45…shouldn't Ryan be up by now? He thought vaguely, usually Ryan up by 7:30, Seth didn't "emerge" until about ten to eight but Ryan was never late…Odd, he thought. He frowned and glanced over to the pool house, the blinds were still drawn and there were no signs of movement from inside. Sandy took another sip of coffee and decided to go and check on him; after all even at weekends Ryan was up before 8. He was never late. He placed his mug on the counter and was about to head over to the door when Seth shuffled in yawning widely and ruffling his wild hair.

"Morning son." Sandy said with a smile as Seth groaned and grabbed a bagel from the basket on the counter. Seth shut his eyes in protest against the bright kitchen lights and bit into a dry bagel, he was so tired he could barely hold his head up. Why did he have to spend the whole night talking to Summer? He scrubbed a hand of his face and yawned again widely when suddenly he looked around aware that something wasn't quite right. What was missing? He frowned slightly and looked around the kitchen scratching the back of his head…what was it? The bagels were there, the cream was there, the eyebrows were there…the old take out containers were there…Ryan! He thought triumphantly.

"Um…Dad where's Ryan, it's like 7:50 Ryan's usually in the orange juice and brooding stage by now." Seth remarked looking around the kitchen as if to expect Ryan would jump out from behind a cupboard. Sandy frowned and his brow furrowed as he looked at his dishevelled son.

"Good question, I think he's still in bed…maybe I should go get him up he's gonna be late." Sandy said wondering what reason there could be for Ryan to be so late. Seth's mouth dropped open slightly…Ryan wasn't up? Ryan was usually up a good hour before most people and he was _never_ late.

"No Dad, leave it to me. I am the expert in this family at waking Ryan up. Trust me it happens most nights when Captain Oats just isn't a good enough source for me to vent my inner pain and torment into." Seth said with a slight smile as Sandy rolled his eyes feeling a slight stab of pity for Ryan, having to be woken up at night to listen to Seth's inane babble about Summer.

"Go on then, but hurry up. Your mother's gone into work early and if you want any chance of a lift you better be ready soon." Sandy warned smiling slightly to himself as Seth saluted and bounded out of the doors across to the poolhouse his dressing gown swinging behind him.

Seth stopped in front of the closed pool house doors and tried to peer through the small gap in the blinds but he couldn't see anything. He sighed slightly and knocked. This was weird, Ryan was never late up. Hmmm maybe he was abducted by aliens, he thought vaguely to himself. He could vaguely hear shuffling from inside he didn't hear the usual mumble of "come in" that often came from inside, nor did he find Ryan at the door letting him in. He frowned again and decided he would have to break the brother's bonded promise of always knocking. Slowly he opened the door peering inside timidly to find an empty room. The bed was unmade and the covers were strewn into a heap at the foot of the bed in a tangled mess. Seth scratched the back of his head uncertainly as he surveyed the room in front of him, there was no sign of Ryan. He took a few tentative steps forward when he noticed the bathroom door was slightly open and the sound of running water could be heard from inside.

_Ryan never leaves the door open if he's having a shower…does anyone?_

Seth thought to himself, he felt an odd sensation growing in the pit of his stomach as he approached the door. Something didn't feel right…He edged slowly closer the rushing sound of water growing louder in his ears as his heart hammered in his chest. He swallowed hard as he approached the half open door.

"Ryan? You in there man?..." He asked

When he received no reply he felt the unpleasant feeling in his stomach become more pronounced, suddenly his mouth had become as dry as sandpaper, each swallow bringing a burning scratchy sensation. His blood was rushing in his ears as he gently pushed the door open the sound of water drowned out by his pounding heart. His gaze travelled from the gushing taps down onto the white tiled floor where he saw something that made his pounding heart jump into his throat and his breath to catch in mid gasp.

There on the smooth tiled floor in a heap lay his brother, his eyes closed as he lay perfectly still the tap still gushing.

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A/N I know you're all thinking not another Ryan sick fic but it's different...trust me! Please stick with this and review! Thanks!

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	2. Breathless

A/N Omg guys! Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews! I am so glad you like this fic! Okay this is just to clear a few things up for you: This Story is set in season 3 but ignores everything that HAS actually happened in season 3 because I am from the UK and have not yet seen the new episodes! Ignore some of the stuff in the first chapter. Kirsten is in rehab and has been for a few months. Trey is in prison and Marissa was found innocent but it not with Ryan. Okay, now that's cleared up on with the post! I hope you like it and please please review! Enjoy!

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Seth felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest as it pounded furiously, knocking against his ribs as he stood, staring down at his brother's prone still form not believing what he was seeing. Getting past his initial shock Seth slipped into autopilot, his body working on it's own whilst his mind was still hanging somewhere back in the doorway. He dropped to his knees in front of his brother, swallowing hard as he blinked back tears. He watched Ryan's chest rise and fall slowly and felt relief wash over him, at least he was breathing…but he was still unconscious.

"Ryan?...Ryan!" He asked bending down closer to him, looking at his pale clammy face and grimacing. He reached out a shaking arm and shook his brother gently, waiting desperately for a response. Waiting for Ryan to leap up and start laughing at him, for him to say it was all a joke. Yet all he received back was silence…Seth Cohen hated silence. He shook Ryan a little harder and called his name, his hands shaking and his mind racing. Oh god…he couldn't think straight, he didn't know what to do…

"Ryan please, just wake up man. This isn't funny." He pleaded desperately his voice cracking with emotion as Ryan lay in silence, not moving nor showing any signs of recognition.

"Shit." He muttered softly to himself, he couldn't even process how he felt right now, all he knew was that he needed to help his friend, his brother. Suddenly, hearing the gushing taps he had an idea…water, maybe he could wake him up using water? He staggered shakily to his feet not tearing his eyes away from Ryan and cupped the running water into his hands before splashing it gently onto Ryan's pale clammy face.

Ryan felt something cold against his face and he was dimly aware of someone calling his name and shaking him…he groaned and tried to sink deeper into the darkness but the voice continued, fuzzy at first and then becoming sharper and clearer…calling him, dragging him from the darkness..

Seth watched, his eyes widening as Ryan let out a low groan and his eyelids fluttered slightly. He felt relief wash over him in great waves and he shook Ryan a little harder, bending close to him and calling his name. His whole frame was shaking as he desperately willed Ryan to just open his eyes…

"Come on Ryan…wake up." He urged...Ryan's eyelids fluttered open before closing again and opening once more, his blue eyes looking dull and tired as he looked around blearily focusing on his surroundings. He groaned, the room around him was spinning, why was everything horizontal? He was on the floor…how did he get on the floor? What happened? He managed to focus in on Seth's face in front of him, full of panic and worry.

"Ryan? You okay man, Jesus you really scared me…what happened?" Seth asked his voice full of concern and his eyes wide with worry. Ryan groaned again, his head throbbing and the familiar tight feeling in his chest was back, restricting his breath. He remembered going to get washed and then…then feeling really dizzy and now he was here, with Seth in front of him looking more worried than Ryan had ever seen him. He groaned again slightly and tried to sit up. Seth reached out and helped him to sit up as Ryan rubbed his head.

"I…I dunno man I…I think I just got dizzy and…I must have stood up to fast or something." He mumbled weakly, he didn't want to worry Seth…he didn't want to tell him about how crappy he felt. He didn't need to know. Seth frowned and looked into Ryan's deep blue eyes, he knew Ryan wasn't telling the truth, something was up.

"Look I'm gonna get Dad, you look terrible." Seth said not taking his eyes off Ryan, who had closed his eyes and was leaning against the wall and breathing deeply. He wasn't lying, he did look awful. His face was pale and sweaty, his eyes were tired and he had huge purple bags underneath them and he looked totally out of it…

"No…No Seth please…please don't. I'm fine really, please. I just wanna go to school and get this test over with, I'm tired and I guess I just need to get more sleep. Please don't get Sandy…" He pleaded desperately as Seth stopped getting up and looked back down at him shocked by the desperation in his voice. He looked into his wide desperate eyes and felt a stab of pity.

"What? But Ryan this is serious? People don't just collapse for no reason, there has to be something wrong you can't just ignore this. You need to tell him, you look crap and there's obviously something wrong." He said as Ryan looked at him desperately, gripping onto the sides to pull himself shakily to his feet. He swayed slightly before standing straight and looking Seth in the eyes seriously.

" Please Seth, it's nothing and I can't miss this test today or I'll fail and with my probation…please just don't tell your dad. Please." He begged as Seth sighed deeply, looking down at his feet before meeting his gaze. He knew it was wrong but he had to, he couldn't say no to him when he was this desperate. He was his brother and his friend…he had to do this for him not matter how much he told himself he shouldn't. He trusted Ryan and he had his back. He sighed deeply

"Fine…okay, but if it happens again I won't just tell Dad….I'll tell Mom." He warned before turning to the door.

"Are you gonna be okay?" He asked. Ryan swallowed ignoring the tightness in his chest and the pain.

"I'll be fine…Thanks Seth." He mumbled.

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Ryan shuffled into the kitchen his rucksack thrown over his shoulder, he found Sandy standing at the counter sipping coffee. He felt so terrible, but he had to go to school he couldn't miss this test after all the work he had missed after Trey's death. He needed to catch up and he didn't want the Cohen's knowing he didn't feel great, well Seth already did, but he didn't want Sandy fussing over him. He had enough on his plate as it was. He breathed in shallowly, a technique he had been practising since this crippling chest pain had snuck up on him. He met Sandy's gaze and smiled weakly whilst Sandy's mouth fell open.

"Jeez Ryan you look awful, are you feeling okay?" He asked setting his mug down and walking over to his son who was gripping onto the work surface for support. His face was pale and clammy and his eyes were sunken and dull. Ryan sighed, his chest taut and aching.

"Yeah I…I'm fine I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night that's all." He mumbled shifting awkwardly as Sandy placed a hand on his forehead. Sandy felt Ryan recoil slightly under his touch and swallowed, he knew Ryan wasn't that comfortable with contact. Especially after everything with Trey…He sighed.

"Well you don't feel warm, I'll take your word for it. But kid, you really look like hell." He said with a slight laugh, Ryan forced a weak grin just as Seth walked into the room.

"This house is just full of compliments this morning." Seth said brightly with a grin aimed towards his father before glancing across at Ryan and winking. Ryan grinned feeling a rush of gratitude towards his foster brother.

"So Dad, lets hit the road. I can't be late to meeting Summer or she'll kill me…probably literally." He said as Sandy laughed slightly taking his attention from Ryan who sighed silently with relief. Sandy looked at his watch.

"Yeah come on then guys." He said brightly, sitting his coffee cup in the sink and picking up his bag. Ryan sighed, the pressure in his chest returning…at least Sandy hadn't pressed the matter. He had been left alone, for now.

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The car journey to school was pretty much silent, very unusual seeing as Seth was in the car. Sandy frowned, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel absent mindedly, he glanced up into his rear view mirror catching sight of his two sons. Something wasn't right between them, Seth had come out of the pool house looking shaken and worried but had said nothing, another thing that wasn't right, then Ryan had come out a few minutes later looking like death warmed up, yet he said he was fine. Nothing had changed there then. Ryan was leaning his head against the window and watching the Newport scenery whip past looking exhausted whilst Seth sat on the other side drumming his fingers against the door in the same fashion that Sandy was, and looking out the window. Something definitely wasn't right. As he pulled up outside the school he glanced into the back seat and smiled at Ryan who returned one weakly.

"Have a good day." He said as they both stepped out of the car. Seth mock saluted before walking off with Ryan towards the school through the crowds of teenagers. He sighed loudly and ran a hand through his untidy hair. Something was definitely up, and Ryan definitely wasn't fine…God he needed Kirsten right now. She'd been in rehab for just over a month now and he'd only been able to see her twice. He missed her and he needed her back.

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Ryan pulled his locker open with a sigh and rummaged around inside for his History text book. He yawned widely, he felt marginally better, his chest didn't hurt anymore and his breathing was easier…he knew it was nothing. He pulled the text book out and glanced at his watch, he was going to be late for soccer practise. Sandy had convinced him to join the team again after everything just to take his mind off things and to get involved in school again. He shoved the book in his bag and shut his locker with a dull clang to find himself facing Marissa. He jumped slightly.

"Woah, you made me jump." He said laughing slightly. Marissa smiled her blue eyes sparkling, Ryan's chest felt tight again but for a different reason this time…

"Sorry, I didn't know you were such a whimp." She said teasingly prodding him in the arm. Ryan laughed and shot her a mock glare.

"How come you're still here?" He asked looking at his watch. They started to walk along the corridor together and Marissa sighed.

"Social Committee meeting. I'm surprised they still let me on it after…you know." She finished awkwardly wrapping her arms around herself. Ryan nodded silently, a heavy silence falling upon them.

"So, planning how to colour co-ordinate balloons and decide which go where must be so stressful." He teased as Marissa smiled and slapped him again playfully.

"Well I'd like to see your try to colour co-ordinate something." She jeered.

"Hey, I'm not _terrible_, I'm not as bad as Seth who actually thought pink orange and yellow would like fine on one shirt." He said looking over at Marissa as she laughed, he could smell her sweet perfume and everything about her was just perfect as he watched her smile and giggle. He just wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her…

"So, I was uh wondering…um you don't have to if you don't want to, you know if it's like too soon or something but…Would you, would you like to come round mine tomorrow? I'm cooking mac and cheese…my…"

"specialty." Ryan finished with a smile, she grinned back before looking away embarrassedly. Ryan felt his heart hammering against his ribs and he swallowed hard.

"I'd love to." He said softly, Marissa looked back at him her blue eyes gleaming as a small smile spread across her face. She looked into his deep blue eyes, her heart hammering and her head pounding. Before she knew what she was doing, she was leaning closer and their faces were inches apart. He could count the tiny freckles on her nose and he could smell the fruity shampoo smell of her hair. Their noses grazed softly sending tingles down her spine as their lips collided softly. She slipped her delicate arms around his neck and pulled him closer, slipping her tongue softly into his mouth.

When they eventually broke away Ryan smiled breathlessly and Marissa flushed slightly.

"Wow I um…I really have to go now but…I…I'll see you tomorrow." She whispered her cheeks still red and her heart hammering. Ryan smiled and nodded weakly…wow, he had missed doing that. Suddenly looking at his watch he realised he was late for soccer, he broke into a run down the corridor. He couldn't wait until tomorrow.

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A/N So...what did you think? I thoughtI'd throw a little bit of R/M in this part just because I love them so much! Lol, okay so please press the magic button and review, give me tips advice whatever tell me what you liked what you didn't! Thanks alot! Hope you liked it!

Next Time: Ryan starts to feel worse at Soccer (god I hate saying that, I just want to say football I'm English! Lol) Seth confides in Summer about what happened with Ryan in the morning and Marissa is excited about her date with Ryan


	3. Tumble and Fall

A/N Okay guys, firstly I just want to apologise for the huge wait for an update but here are my reasons before you all attack me!

I've been ill recently and spent most of my time in bed feeling miserable, but the plus side is I now have lots of ideas

I am in two shows so I have loads of rehearsals

I have so much coursework and homework that I have had hardly any leisure time at all

Thanks for your advice and tips about the Beta situation, I have a little more confidence now so hopefully this will satisfy your needs! Also I apologise for the inconsistencies but if you read the author's notes I explained that I changed my mind halfway through and decided that Kirsten would still be in rehab. So read and enjoy and tell me what you think! Lots of drama!

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Ryan slung his gym bag over his shoulder and leant over the sinks in the bathroom, struggling to draw breath as the pressure in his chest increased. His chest was tight and his head was spinning as he stared down at the sink below him, the taps gushing cold water into the bowl as it swirled and gurgled before being sucked down into the plughole. His hands shook as he gripped the sides of the cool, china sink and desperately tried to draw breath as his heart pounded, aching and searing with each rhythm. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, his breath coming in shallow gasps. It will pass…he told himself firmly. He had been fine during most of practise, he had even scored a few goals but it wasn't until towards the end when he started to feel crappy again. His breathing had become more laborious and the pain and tightness in his chest had intensified, when the coach finally called the whistle he was just about ready to pass out.

What the hell was wrong with him? He had never felt this bad before…He opened his eyes and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and did a double take. He really did look terrible, his face was pale but his cheeks were flushed pink, dark rings encircled his eyes as beads of sweat clung to his forehead. He steadied himself as he straightened up, shaking violently. He could do this, he just needed to get back out to the parking lot and then he could get a ride with Seth who should be coming out of comic book club now. He sighed deeply, the pain in his chest dulling slightly, _come on Atwood…pull yourself together._ He told himself as he shut off the taps and shuffled shakily out of the bathroom and out towards the parking lot…

Seth walked out into the parking lot whistling happily to himself as he stopped in front of the parking meter, waiting for Ryan. He was really worried for his brother, he could tell there definitely something up with him, something wasn't right…people didn't just pass out for no reason. But as much as he just wanted to run to his Dad and tell him what was going on, he couldn't do that to Ryan. Ryan had had his back since he got here and he had never let him down, Seth had to keep his promise to him. Ryan deserved that, it didn't matter how scared Seth was for him. He couldn't let him down.

He sighed and looked up in the distance he could make out Ryan, shuffling towards him. His bags slung over his shoulders and his head down as he walked slowly towards him. Even from such a distance he could tell Ryan didn't look that great. As he drew slowly closer he could see his face, he looked so exhausted…and so weak. Weak was something that Ryan had never been is Seth's eyes, he had always been the strong dependable one, the tough guy, but seeing Ryan like he was now Seth couldn't help but stare. He looked awful.

"Hey man." Seth managed shakily as Ryan drew up in front of him with a weak smile, he couldn't help but stare.

"Are you okay?" He asked looking Ryan in the eyes, his eyes tired and dull. Ryan nodded.

"Yeah, just tired. Soccer really took it out of me. How was Comic Book club?" He asked rapidly changing the subject, aware of Seth staring at him. He knew he looked awful and he should have known Seth would notice. He didn't need a fuss right now, he just needed to sleep.

Seth frowned slightly, he knew Ryan was changing the subject and he knew that usually meant he should leave the issue alone but…something was definitely wrong.

"Are you sure man because you look like crap." He said honestly.

Ryan sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets, shivering slightly. He knew Seth wouldn't let it go…

"I know and I feel like crap too which is why I want to get home…so you ready?" He snapped angrily. He regretted it after seeing Seth's slightly crestfallen expression. He didn't mean to sound so harsh…

"I um…yeah I'm ready." Seth mumbled quietly.

Ryan sighed loudly and looked down at his feet, his head pounding and spinning as they walked slowly forward.

"Seth I'm sorry…it's just, I got about 20 minutes sleep last night, I have a killer headache and I'm just in a bad mood. I'm sorry…and now I have a date with Marissa to worry about." He added with a small grin, Seth looked up and grinned back.

"Really? Looks like the fantastic four is becoming fantastic again…so give me details." He said. Ryan grinned as they walked out of school together.

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Sandy set his briefcase down on the counter and yawned widely, he surveyed the empty take-out containers, the dirty dishes and overflowing rubbish bins and sighed. The house had become a pigsty since Kirsten had left and with Rosa off in Spain with family it was up to him and the boys to do the housework…great job, he thought to himself. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and walked over to the pile of dirty dishes which were piled up a few feet high and teetering dangerously, this was going to take him hours to sort out.

He began to scrape the left over food into the bin and as he was placing the plate in the dishwasher Ryan shuffled into the kitchen scratching the back of his head clutching a text book and yawning. Sandy grinned but it faded slightly when he marked Ryan's appearance, if anything he looked worse than he did this morning, earlier he didn't think that could have been achieved. Ryan caught his eye and forced a tired smile before sitting at the table and looking down at his text book with empty blue eyes. Sandy frowned slightly, something was definitely up. He looked terrible for a start, he was cagey, quiet and closed off…well even more than usual. He hadn't been like this since Trey…but this wasn't about Trey, he could tell. He put the plate down and walked slowly over, Ryan didn't look up from his book but he knew Sandy was there. He tensed slightly, here it came…he was going to ask him if anything was up, if he was okay…tell him that if he needed to talk to him he was there. He'd been through the routine so many times.

He loved the Cohens more than anyone he had ever known and he really respected Sandy but…they just didn't understand that sometimes it's better to keep things to yourself and they didn't understand exactly how much he owed them and why he didn't want to trouble them over nothing. But he couldn't avoid the inevitable, Sandy Cohen was on a mission.

"Hey Ryan, how's school going?" Sandy asked nervously pulling up a chair and lowering himself into it as Ryan slowly lifted his gaze to meet his. Ryan forced back a grimace as the sharp pain in his chest returned.

"Fine, had a test today. It went okay but I couldn't remember the names of all the Generals in my history exam so I made a few up." He said with a grin as Sandy smiled whilst trying to look disapproving.

"Well I suppose it's better than the time Seth told me he couldn't think of a poem for English so he wrote death cab lyrics instead…you feeling any better? You really don't look well." He said scanning over Ryan's pale, tired face with concern. Ryan sighed and straightened up slightly as his chest pain become more pronounced.

"I'm just tired, maybe I'm getting flu or something? I don't think it's anything serious, I just need to go to bed." He said quickly keeping his eyes down on the text book, he hated lying to Sandy. Well he hated lying but this wasn't exactly lying…he was just…bending the truth a little.

Sandy frowned, he knew Ryan was holding out on something…he could tell.

"Okay kid, you better head off to bed then. I'm sure you'll ace whatever test you have tomorrow." He said with a grin as Ryan smiled back.

"Yeah, tell Seth that Summer called for him earlier and that I wont be able to take part in his playstation tournament because I have plans with Marissa." He added as he headed for the door with his text book slotted under his arm. Sandy smiled slightly, at least some things were getting back on track. He watched Ryan walk into the pool house and shut the door and let out a long sigh before turning back to the dishes. In the corner of his eye he spotted his favourite picture…Ryan's first Christmukkah, it felt like a life time ago. He looked at Kirsten's smiling face and swallowed hard, he missed her so much. Everything about her, the way she smiled, her laugh, her cute little nose, the smell of her hair, even the way she burnt the dinner. He just wanted her back here, he needed her back here.

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For Ryan school had been pretty uneventful, he hadn't felt too bad and his exams had gone okay. The highlight had been having lunch with Marissa and watching Summer batter Seth with her handbag after he made fun of her shoes. He was actually really looking forward to seeing Marissa tonight, he just wanted it to go well. He wanted to be with her again, he loved everything about her. Even after everything that had happened with Trey after all he had done to her she still stuck by him, she saved his life. He sighed and looked in the mirror, he rolled up his shirt sleeves and pulled at his wifebeater. Why was he so nervous?

He glanced at his watch, he had five minutes to get over to her house…that was just enough time. He sighed deeply and suddenly his breath hitched and caught in his throat. He tried to swallow but he couldn't breathe, the sharp pain in his chest intensified and spread across his chest causing him to double over and grip the counter. He gasped for air but none came as his chest tightened and the pressure increased. His legs buckled causing him to drop to his knees as he desperately felt around for something to help him…the house was empty, Sandy was out and Seth was with Summer. As his vision greyed and grew fuzzy he dropped to his hands and knees the pain becoming so unbearable, his eyes watered as his breath came in tiny gasps…he was in so much pain and there was no one there to help him, his heart seared again as his eyes slowly slid closed and he rolled onto his side…the last thing he saw was his phone ringing on the side before darkness fell upon him and he succumbed to unconsciousness…

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Seth sprinted up the driveway and flung open the front door panting heavily, he couldn't believe he had forgotten his mobile. He sighed and walked through the hallway looking around desperately, he needed it now, he was going to be late. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration…where had he left it? He had been in the kitchen…then he had gotten a call from Summer, he took the call, then went…to the pool house to talk to Ryan! His phone was in the poolhouse! He thought triumphantly, grinning to himself as he sprinted through the hall out to the poolhouse. The door was closed and the blinds drawn, the lights were on though…shouldn't Ryan be at Marissa's by now? He sighed and pushed the door open looking around for his phone, he scanned the empty room when his eyes fell on something…or someone. On the floor, for the second time in two days, lay his brother…face down on the carpet his arm outstretched and no signs of life coming from him…his heart leapt into his throat, thoughts of his phone forgotten…

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Marissa sat on the couch and leant back with a sigh, she glanced at her watch again…Ryan was late, ten minutes late and he hadn't even called! What if he had chickened out? What if things were just to awkward between them after Trey? What if he didn't want to be with her? All these panicked thoughts rushed through her head as she looked at her watch for the hundredth time, she swallowed and switched on the tv. Of course he was coming, he wouldn't just leave her waiting for him…would he? She looked anxiously towards the door, he was coming. He was just late that's all.

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A/N Okay I know that's the second part to end that way but it will be the last, I hope Lol. I also know it was short and not that great but I don't feel that great and I posted to keep you happy! Please review and tell me what you think but be nice and sympathetic as well as give good advice! Thanks for all the amazing reviews and please keep it up!

Rach X

Next Time: Seth panics and calls an ambulance whilst Marissa and Summer wait impatiently for their dates to turn up. We also may find out what exactly is wrong with Ryan.


	4. A Rush of Blood to the Head

A/N Sorry I've taken so long to update but I have had homework and coursework to deal with as well as rehersals for shows and I've been really stressed but finally a new chapter for you to read and review! I apologise if there is not that much detail but there isa lot of action but in the next chappie I will throw in a few POVs for you? How does that sound? Okay enough of my rambling, read, enjoy and PLEASE review:)

* * *

Seth dropped to his knees, his heart hammering and blood rushing through his ears deafening him. He swallowed hard in an effort to kick start his voice as he reached out a shaking hand to his brother who lay prone on the ground, face down and still. He shook him gently as his stomach tightened, fear gripping him.

"Ryan, wake up man." He begged his voice hoarse as he forced back tears, come on this wasn't happening again…He shook him a second time his mind buzzing as Ryan didn't respond. His breath came in shaky gasps as he frantically tried to think of what to do.

_Come on man, your brother, your best friend is lying on the floor unconscious…stop being a boob and do something!_

In normal circumstances he would have laughed at the word boob but he didn't have the time…he stared down at his brother through blurred vision as salty tears rose. Check his breathing! He thought suddenly feeling a rush of stupidity. With trembling hands he reached out to Ryan and gently turned him over, his head flopped back and Seth felt a bubble of nausea grumble inside his stomach as he watched the fluid motion of his head lolling sideways. He pressed his fingers against his neck and desperately waited to feel the familiar pushing beat of a pulse. The seconds that followed were the longest of Seth's life…

Then the felt it, it was weak and faint but it was there. He still had a chance. He swallowed and breathed deeply trying to quell the rising nausea and to steady his shaking hands. He didn't have time to just be sitting here, he needed to act fast. He patted his brother's shoulder quickly before scrambling to his feet and stumbling slightly as he reached for the phone. He pulled it from the cradle hurriedly and took one quick glance back over to his brother before dialling 911. A woman's voice came on the line

"Emergency services, which service do you require?"

"A..ambulance please." Seth stammered his voice cracking slightly.

"Please state your emergency" The woman responded calmly, why was she so damn calm? This was an emergency! Seth thought

"Um…it's my brother he…he's collapsed and he won't wake up…he…he's breathing but he wont wake up." He babbled his voice wavering as he choked back a sob. He couldn't handle this, he couldn't do emergencies. When Trey had been shot he let Ryan and Summer take charge whilst he and Marissa just stood there…

"Okay could you please state your location." The calm woman said. Seth looked around

"Um..The Poolhouse…" He said stupidly, he could have sworn the calm lady laughed, he rattled off their address and finished the phone call.

He turned back to his brother and dropped to his knees again, he didn't care if it was minty…he took Ryan's hand and squeezed it gently.

"It's okay man, the ambulance is coming…" He said quietly looking uneasily down into Ryan's pale face as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He had to be okay…he had to.

* * *

Marissa glared down at the plate in her hand as she scraped the cold macaroni into the trash with a sigh, fighting back tears as she looked at the clock again. Why hadn't he at least called?...Maybe something had happened. She thought. Suddenly worried she picked up the phone again, hoping this time maybe he would answer…

Maybe he was just avoiding her, why had she thought he would actually want to be with her after everything? She had shot his brother! Could things really be okay after that? She sighed heavily…she thought they would be. Maybe she should ring Seth? He might know where he was…

* * *

Seth groaned in frustration as he reached his father's voicemail, why wasn't his phone on? He stayed by Ryan's side, talking to him regardless of whether he could hear him or not. He actually thought it was more for his own benefit, if he kept talking he wouldn't break down. He waited for the beep and sighed shakily…he needed his dad, not his voicemail.

"Um hey Dad it's me…um if you're there please pick up…it's Ryan, he…there's something wrong and he wont wake up Dad, I called the ambulance and…I need you dad. Please I'm scared…ring me back when you get this." He finished shakily tears waiting to fall once more. He couldn't do this by himself, he didn't know what to do or say or how to handle anything…he needed his parents. He needed Ryan. He looked up from his brother's pale wan face as he heard sirens in the distance. He needed to wave them to the right house but he didn't want to leave Ryan…He chewed on his bottom lip nervously before breaking his grip on Ryan's hand.

"I'll be right back okay man? I'm bringing help." He said softly giving his hand a squeeze before clambering to his feet unsteadily. He walked towards the door his stomach churning with nausea as he rested a clammy shaking hand on the cool metal door knob. He turned uncertainly back to face Ryan, he hadn't moved nor made any sign of life. He chewed on his bottom lip causing the familiar coppery taste of blood to fill his mouth. He turned and sprinted across the patio past the pool and around the side of the house and out onto the driveway whilst the sound of sirens grew louder. In the poolhouse Seth's phone began to ring whilst Ryan lay still…

Marissa

* * *

Seth felt sick as he watched the blonde medic checked Ryan's pulse whilst the tall dark haired one fitted an oxygen mask around his face and then a neck collar. They rattled off medical terms that went over Seth's head

"What's his name son?" The medic asked from his space on the floor, directing the question to Seth who was standing with his back pressed against the wall through fear of getting in the way.

"R..Ryan." He stammered nervously as the paramedic turned his attention back to Ryan.

"Ryan, Ryan can you hear me? My name's Andy and I'm a paramedic. Can you hear me? Talk to me Ryan." He said loudly tapping the side of Ryan's face. Seth frowned, the medic was lucky Ryan was unconscious because he wouldn't be too pleased with someone tapping him and asking him questions incessantly. Seth knew this from first hand experience. Ryan didn't respond and the medic frowned slightly. The blonde medic turned to Seth.

"How did this happen? Has your brother been feeling un-well…complaining of anything? Headaches, breathing difficulties?" She asked calmly as Seth wrung his hands and knotted his fingers as he blinked trying to get the tears to disappear. He had to be strong for Ryan.

"He um…two days ago he passed out, he said he was just tired but…I don't know what's wrong with him! Is he okay?" He asked frantically his voice cracking with suppressed emotion. The paramedic smiled reassuringly.

"He's going to be fine, we need to take him to hospital to find out what's wrong okay? Have you called your parents?" She asked softly as her partner adjusted Ryan's oxygen mask. Seth nodded faintly not taking his eyes from his brother.

"Yeah I left a message." He mumbled

"Okay we're ready to roll." The medic called, the blonde smiled briefly at Seth before rushing over to where Ryan lay on a gurney, an oxygen mask strapped to his face. Seth blinked hard to stop the inevitable tears from falling. The lump in his throat was growing painful as they lifted Ryan gently to the trolley and wheeled him out of the poolhouse. Seth grabbed his phone from the side and jogged to keep up with Ryan and the paramedics.

"Um, can I ride in the ambulance with him? I don't want to leave him alone." Seth said shakily, the truth was he didn't want to be left alone.

"Sure kid, just don't touch anything and let us work okay?" He said with a brief smile before turning his attention back to Ryan. He cut through his shirt and Seth winced slightly, Ryan wasn't going to like that either. He began to attach wires to Ryan's chest and he hooked him to a small machine to the side, it began to beep rhythmically and the familiar green lines rose with each beep signifying Ryan's heart beat. Seth held his breath for a few seconds praying that the machine would keep beeping. Just looking at the spidery green lines rising and falling, he realised how fragile life was. He watched as Andy flashed a small pen light into Ryan's eyes.

"Pupils even, BP is 90 and palpable. Pulse 125 apical and respirations 30." He called to his partner who was already driving down the road. The medical terms went over Seth's head as he watched Ryan carefully, just praying he would wake up and that everything would be fine…he couldn't even think of any inappropriate jokes or mindless chatter to secure himself with.

"EKG shows an irregular heart rhythm." Andy called. Seth sat up straight and swallowed…his heart? Was something wrong with Ryan's heart? He felt like a lead weight had been dropped into the pit of his stomach…his heart?

* * *

Summer glanced at her watch again and sighed impatiently. Where the hell was he? He was supposed to be pick her up 20 minutes ago and he hadn't even called to say he was going to be late? His phone was off and no one was answering at the house…What was going on? Sure Cohen may be annoying, neurotic and self-centred but he had never been late before. What if something had happened? She sighed and collapsed onto her bed plucking princess sparkle from her spot on the dresser. She ran her fingers through the soft synthetic hair on her favourite pony and looked at her phone again. Not even a message.

* * *

One message

It said across the screen of Sandy's cell. He held the phone to his ear as he walked out to his car, loosening his tie with his free hand. He thought that meeting would never end. He pulled open the car door and collapsed into the driving seat with a sigh before pulling the door close as the mechanical voice gave details about the message. He started the ignition wondering what he would order for dinner seeing as the boys were out tonight when the message began to play. Sandy swallowed hard when his son's panicked shaky voice came on the line…

"_Um hey Dad it's me…um if you're there please pick up…it's Ryan, he…there's something wrong and he wont wake up Dad, I called the ambulance and…I need you dad. Please I'm scared…ring me back when you get this."_

Sandy almost dropped the phone as he gripped the steering wheel with his free hand, his knuckles turning white. When he swallowed his throat felt like sandpaper. The engine was still humming gently whilst he sat there listening to the message again, Seth's voice haunting him. Ryan…he couldn't wake him up? What was wrong? What was going on? He needed to get to Seth and Ryan and now…He quickly dialled in Seth's number his fingers fumbling over the keys.

He pressed the phone to his ear as he slowly pulled out of the parking lot, he had thought there was something up with Ryan but he hadn't said anything…When he met Seth's voicemail he groaned. Why didn't he have his phone if he wanted him to ring him back? He folded his arms over the steering wheel resting his head on it and sighing deeply waiting for the beep…he needed Kirsten.

"Hey Seth it's Dad, just tell me where you are. Are you at HOAG? I'll meet you there okay? Is he okay? What's going on?...I'll meet you soon, it'll be okay."

He finished shakily before shutting his phone and leaning back in his chair…he needed to get there now, his sons needed him…

* * *

Cold.

Ryan was cold, he shivered involuntarily from somewhere in the realms of darkness in which he was floating. He could hear voices, mumblings and whispers from somewhere in the distance. He tried to take a breath but the familiar pressure and the searing pain was back. He felt someone tapping the side of his face and a groan escaped his lips…Someone was calling his name, a familiar voice…Seth? The voice got louder and he felt someone squeezing his hand, he groaned again the pain building in his chest, his heart felt like it was beating at 100mph, it felt like it was fluttering. He felt someone's hand in his and he squeezed it weakly, desperately trying to open his eyes. He could hear someone calling his name again, it felt like he was moving. With all his effort he forced his heavy eyelids open before closing them against the bright lights above him, he opened them a little bit this time, getting used to the bright lighting. His vision was blurry but he could make out an unfamiliar face in front of him, a dark haired man who was saying something that he couldn't hear.

"Seth?" He croaked weakly, suddenly Seth's face replaced the stranger's and he relaxed slightly, his heart still pounding.

"Hey it's me, it's okay man…you fell out, I found you in the pool house…you're in an ambulance." Seth said choking back tears, he had to be strong for Ryan. Ryan swallowed, realising there was a mask or something on his face, he sluggishly reached out to pull it off but his hand was moved by the stranger.

"It's best to leave that on buddy, it'll make your breathing easier. My name is Andy and I'm a paramedic, I know you're not feeling great but I need to ask you a few questions okay?" He asked kindly. Who are you calling buddy, Ryan thought vaguely before nodding gently, causing his head to spin.

"Can you remember what happened?"

Ryan frowned slightly his chest searing again and his head spinning, he felt like shit.

"I…was…getting ready to go out and I…passed out I guess…" Ryan mumbled flushing slightly, he hated this. He hated being strapped down to this bed thing whatever it was, having some stranger staring down at him and asking him questions when all he wanted to do was sleep and going to hospital, possibly his least favourite establishment on the planet…that apart from being in the same room as AJ.

" Okay Ryan, do you know why you passed out? Were you dizzy, any chest pain? Nausea?" He asked. Ryan closed his eyes struggling to take a breath…

"Dizzy…m'chest hurts…" He mumbled his heart pounding again and racing, he could distantly hear a beeping or something.

Seth watched his brother struggle to draw breath whilst he just sat there, not knowing what to say to him…what to do.

"Hey Ryan, can you slow down your breathing…take a deep breath for me…relax okay." Andy said quickly eyeing the monitor in the corner as Ryan gasped for a breath, his face contorted in pain. Ryan glared at him, easy for him to say…no matter how hard he tried to, he couldn't catch his breath…

"What's the ETA? Respiratory distress and palpitations." Andy shouted to the driver.

"We're here now…" She shouted back, pulling into the ambulance bay of HOAG. Ryan felt Seth next to him and he smiled weakly, Seth forced a grin.

"It's gonna be okay man." He whispered assuring himself and hopefully Ryan. The medics ushered Seth aside and quickly unloaded Ryan from the ambulance who appeared to have passed out again. He chased after the trolley as it was wheeled away by medics and doctors all shouting medical terms to eachother. It was a flurry of activity and Seth desperately tried to keep up, a painful lump rising in his throat as his stomach jumped into his throat.

_Tachychardic, palpitations, pulse 125 apical. BP 90 over 60, resps low, 20mgs of Morphine…take him to trauma One…ECG and ECHO ready_

Seth watched hopelessly as Ryan was rushed away from him, he was left standing alone in the foyer, doctors rushing past and trolleys being wheeled around him…He didn't know what to do, he just hoped Ryan was okay…He needed him.

* * *

So...what did you think? not my best but oh well, the next few will be a lot better! The little button is calling you...you know which one I mean...

Thanks for all your reviews!

Rach X

Next Time: Sandy arrives and has to call Kirsten, we find out what is really wrong with Ryan


	5. Goodnight and Go

A/N Okay firstlyI apologise for the terrible made up medical jargon in the previous chapter, I don't know what I am talking about but as long as it sounds good...okay we learn a teensy bit more about what's wrong with Ryan in this chapter but it all comes out soon enough. This is more about the Cohens reactions. I hope you enjoy this and sorry for the delay! Please R&R and thanks for the fantastic reviews so far! You're all great

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Sandy ran towards the entrance, the double glass automatic doors sliding open as he approached them, panting and gasping for air. He swallowed hard looking around the busy reception for any sign of his sons but met only crowds of unfamiliar faces, the sight of a drunkard with a nasty gash singing merrily, a young girl with her arm in a sling, an old woman sleeping in a chair and a crowd, a young boy in a soccer kit with scraped knees and a bandaged wrist and then he saw Seth, leaning against the wall looking lost and alone…His heart started to beat faster as he dodged past moving crowds towards his son who was frowning over some forms and fighting back tears. As he drew closer, his breathing still not normal Seth looked up and his frown cleared into an expression of relief. Sandy threw his arms around his son pulling him close to him, feeling him trembling in his arms. He drew away knowing his son needed the comfort but he needed to know about Ryan first.

"What exactly happened? Where is he?" He asked hurriedly placing both hands on his son's shoulders firmly, drawing his gaze up to his own. Seth swallowed hard, bracing himself for what was going to follow…

"Well, I was going out on a date with Summer and Ryan was in the pool house and then I remembered that I left my cell and I know what your like, so I went back to get it. I remembered that I left it in…in the pool house so…I went to get it and…and…Ryan was on the floor and he, he wouldn't wake up and…" Seth trailed off as his voice gave out. Sandy felt his heart ache…he knew Ryan hadn't been looking that great and he hadn't even said anything and now he was in here! He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Okay, give me those forms. Wait here, I'm going to go and find out what is going on okay? It's going to be okay, Ryan's going to be fine." He said reassuring himself more than Seth. Seth looked down at his hands willing the tears to stay back before pulling his gaze back to his father who was still standing in the middle of the busy room staring at him.

"They said it was his heart Dad." He whispered. Seth's voice almost broke Sandy's heart as he stood there looking at him, lost and alone…he just wanted to run up and hug him but he had to find out what was happening first. Even as he rushed off towards the reception he couldn't help replaying what he had just said

_They said it was his heart Dad_

_His heart

* * *

_

Seth drew his eyes away from the stain on the floor that he had been staring at for the past few minutes as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He hurriedly reached deep into his jeans and pulled the phone out, flicking it open…it was Summer.

"Cohen! You better have a dam.n good reason why you stood me up tonight! I can't believe you, you didn't even call! I've been waiting for nearly an hour and you didn't even bother to call me to tell me you were going to be late! So, I'm waiting Cohen, I'm waiting for an excuse…" She shouted angrily, Seth closed his eyes…he couldn't handle this right now, he couldn't deal with something else to stress over…

"You want my excuse? Fine. Ryan collapsed and now he's in hospital. I hope that's good enough for you, I'm sorry I didn't call but I was a bit pre-occupied. Is that a good enough excuse for you?" He said angrily. He was mis-directing his anger towards her…There was silence on the line for a few seconds.

"Seth I…I'm so sorry…What.."

He cut her off, he didn't want to hear this now. He knew he shouldn't push her away, he needed her but he couldn't help it…he needed to be alone first.

"Look I've got to go, bye." He said quickly before flicking the phone shut and turning it off, leaning back in his stiff plastic chair and closing his eyes with a sigh. He couldn't handle this…

* * *

"If you just wait over there sir, a doctor will be out to see you soon." The receptionist repeated impatiently as the man In front of her sighed deeply and frowned.

"Look please, can't you just tell me what is going on? If he's okay?" He asked desperately. The receptionist's frowned softened, sure this guy was bugging her but she couldn't help but feel sorry for him, he was obviously frantic.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm just the receptionist." She said with a slight smile. Sandy smiled resignedly back before walking defeated back to his son who was still slumped in his chair looking lost and tired. He collapsed into the chair next to him and put his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close to him. Seth relaxed into his father's embrace and let out a long sigh.

"This is all my fault." Seth finally mumbled into his father's shoulder. Sandy could feel his shoulder growing wet and he rubbed Seth's back gently feeling his eyes burning.

"Don't be stupid, you didn't know this was going to happen. There was nothing you could have done." He said softly. Seth shook his head, the lump in his throat growing larger and more painful as he lifted his head up and met his father's worried gaze.

"No Dad there is!...I…The other day, Ryan passed out before school and…He was okay but, I wanted to go and tell you but he made me promise not to because…because he didn't want to cause you any more stress and he said he was fine, that he was just tired and…I know I should have told you anyway but he seemed okay after that and it's like I promised him and he's always had my back and…I'm so sorry." He said his voice breaking as he reluctantly let a tear slip from his eye. Sandy held his son tighter…

"Seth you should have told me…but it doesn't make this your fault. I know I've been busy recently and I haven't been paying enough attention to you both but you can still come to me. You promised him but sometimes we have to break promises. Don't think this is your fault because it isn't and besides we don't even know what's really going on yet anyway." He said his heart hammering and tears burning in his pale blue eyes. He held Seth for a few seconds before pulling away and shooting him a reassuring smile…god he needed Kirsten right now. She'd know what to do, how to handle things. He wanted his wife and he wanted to know what was going on. He kept telling himself that Ryan would be fine but people don't just collapse for no reason and it might be his heart…his heart. He closed his eyes and leant back in his chair running a hand through his untidy black hair in frustration. When he looked up a tall greying man was walking towards them, wearing a white coat. Finally…he thought as he got to his feet.

" I take it you are Ryan's family?" He asked with a warm smile as Sandy nodded quickly not able to find his voice. The doctor held out his hand and Sandy shook it.

"I'm Dr Murray."

"How is he? What's going on?" He asked quickly as Seth stood up next to him looking like he was about to be sick. The doctor frowned slightly.

" Well, I don't like talking out here…it's like a zoo. If you follow me I'll take you to the relatives room. It should be a bit more quiet, so maybe we can hear ourselves think." He said with a smile.

Seth forced a weak smile back. He was smiling, that meant it wasn't serious right? He followed his Dad as they were lead out of the busy waiting area to a smaller, quieter, vibrantly yellow room. Maybe they thought yellow would lighten the place up…it wasn't working. Seth thought darkly as he eyed the token out of date magazines and the dented coffee machine in the corner. He glanced at his dad and he couldn't help but think how awful he looked, his hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes and he looked more worried than he had ever seen him. Apart from when his mom was in that car accident. He shuddered and turned his attention back to the smiling doctor who was glancing down at his clip board.

"Okay so I know you're desperate to find out what's going on so I won't bore you with pointless information so basically the basics are, we've run a few tests and they show something unusual going on with Ryan's heart which would explain why he's collapsed and also the chest pain and difficulty breathing. At the moment we don't know exactly what is wrong which is why he is scheduled for some tests." The doctor said as Sandy clenched his fists in his pockets, his nails digging into his palms.

"Is it serious though? What kind of problem do you think it is?" Sandy asked hurriedly. When someone had something wrong with their heart it was never good. Ryan was only 17…Seth chewed on his bottom lip to keep himself quiet. He couldn't handle this, Ryan couldn't have something wrong with his heart. He was fine last week. What could have changed?

"Well with the symptoms Ryan is suffering from it could be nay number of things so it really is impossible to say. But after these tests we should know exactly what is going on. For now, try not to worry."

Sandy and Seth both resisted the urge to scoff.

"Can we see him?" Seth suddenly blurted out, breaking his silence. Sandy looked at his son briefly then back to the doctor expectantly.

"Of course. He should be awake. The tests should be ready in about ten minutes." He said with a brief smile before leading them out of the room. Seth felt numb the whole way to Ryan's room. He couldn't believe this was really happening, about an hour ago he was talking and laughing with Ryan over a game on the playstation, now he was going to see him in the hospital. He sighed and continued down the long white corridors, he hated hospital. Everything about them, the whiteness, the smell, the sick people…hospitals always meant something bad had happened.

The doctor said something to Sandy and shook his hand before leaving and nodding towards Seth who managed a feeble one in return. Sandy looked back at his son.

"You ready?" He asked. Seth, unable to find his voice nodded again. No matter what he thought of hospitals he had to be there for his brother. He had to have his back.

* * *

Summer grabbed her jacket and keys frantically. Switching of the Valley and checking her hair briefly before grabbing her phone from the side walking briskly from her room. She had tried ringing Seth back but he had turned his phone off, she felt so terrible. She had been shouting at him and the whole time he had been at the hospital with Ryan…She didn't know what was going on with Chino but she knew Seth was upset and he needed her. Suddenly her phone began to ring in her hand, she jumped slightly before flicking it open…Marissa cell. She swallowed hard, she hadn't called Marissa…oh god she was an awful friend…she thought before holding the phone to her ear whilst walking out towards her car.

"Hey Coop." She said quickly.

"Hey Sum I…it's Ryan." She sniffed down the line, oh maybe Cohen had called her? She thought, she was obviously upset.

"Oh Coop I know, I'm going to see him now, Cohen called me. I can give you a lift there if you want? I'm sure he's fine and Seth is just over-reacting." She said pulling open the car door. There was silence on the line followed by a few sniffs.

"What? Summer what are you talking about?" She stammered tearfully her voice hoarse. Summer sat down abruptly in the car seat closing her eyes and letting out a long sigh…great, she didn't know and now she had to be the one to tell her that her boyfriend was in hospital.

"First, what are you talking about?" She asked, trying to dodge the question for as long as possible. She heard a stifled sob again.

"It's just, I uh had a date with Ryan and he never showed but…what where you talking about Sum? Do you know where he is?" She asked starting to panic. What was going on? She thought as she paced the kitchen floor gripping the phone tightly, why did Summer and Seth know where Ryan was, and why were they going to see him? What was going on? She ran a hand through her hair waiting for an answer.

"I…Okay I only found out like this second but…it's Ryan he…he's in hospital. I rang Seth and he was really upset but then I made him mad and I didn't find out what actually happened and…I was going to go there now. I thought you already knew…" She said trailing off.

Marissa nearly dropped the phone as fresh tears slid gracefully down her cheeks. The hospital?

"The hospital? Sum, what's going on? Oh god…can you take me there?" She asked frantically her hands shaking as she held the phone to her ear. Summer's heart ached for her friend…she didn't know how she would feel if it was Seth…

"Seth said he collapsed or something…I'm sure everything is fine. I'll be at your house in a few minutes okay. Don't panic, Ch…Ryan's going to be fine." She said reassuringly, starting the engine. Marissa nodded, tears falling from her eyes.

"Okay…thanks Sum." She whispered before hanging up. She glanced at the cold macaroni in the cheese in the bin before bursting into a fresh wave of sobs…

* * *

Sandy pushed the door to Ryan's door open slowly, his heart racing and his mind buzzing. He could feel Seth's presence behind him as he pushed the door fully open surveying the room in front of him. Ryan was lying perfectly still, eyes closed and hooked up to a steadily beeping machine. Sandy felt Seth's hand tug at his and he squeezed it gently before stepping into the room. He marvelled at Ryan's appearance, he looked so young and small. Since he first took Ryan into his home and his family he never thought he would care about him this much, love him as his own son…but he did. He sighed before looking back to his son who was staring at Ryan blankly. He couldn't handle all of this, he couldn't think of a witty comment or a joke that would make everything better, make all of this go away. For once he couldn't talk his way out of a situation or make his family feel better. He felt helpless. He just wanted things to go back to the way they should be, all of them sitting around the kitchen laughing and joking…being a family. But here he was in the hospital with both of his sons, one unconscious and the other practically catatonic considering he never usually went 30 seconds without saying something. He needed someone to take control, to sort everything out…he needed Kirsten.

He sat down next to Ryan looking at him awkwardly, he didn't know what to do or say. He didn't know how to react…He didn't know what to do.

"Ryan? Ryan, son it's Sandy." He said softly waiting for a sign, something to show him Ryan was in there, that he could hear him. He sighed when he received none. He turned back, looking to Seth for help but he was leaning against the wall, his arms folded across himself. He couldn't sit here and do this, he had to be doing something. He had to call Kirsten, she had the right to know. He had to get out of this room.

He abruptly stood up, the sound of the chair scraping against the floor breaking the uncomfortable silence that was hanging thickly in the air. He took one last glance at his unconscious, unresponsive son, the wires, the machines…before sighing and heading towards the door. He glanced at Seth.

"I'm going to call your mother. I'll be back in a few minutes." He mumbled before leaving the room…He knew he was a coward but he couldn't face that room, he couldn't face his unconscious son, knowing that maybe if he had paid a little more attention to him, to both of them…they wouldn't be in this situation.

Seth watched his father leave, he knew calling his mom was just an excuse…he didn't want to be in here, he couldn't face it. He thought it was his fault. The good old Jewish guilt. He sighed, bringing gaze up to rest on his brother's still prone form. He smiled slightly, he knew how to wake Ryan up…it worked every time, he had experience in waking him up…every time he needed a good old rant or babble about Summer he would go and wake him up, regardless of the time. He approached the bed warily, trying to make sure he didn't pull out any wires or anything like that. This was just such an awkward situation to be in, for once in his life he didn't know what to say. The whole thing was so surreal. Ryan had always been the strong one, the one Seth could always depend on to be there and now…now it was like he realised that he could just as easily be taken away. He just didn't know how to deal with it. He filled his father's empty seat and looked awkwardly at his brother who still lay there, not having made any signs of life nor shown any sign that he recognised Seth's presence in the room.

"Hey man, it's me." He mumbled, he knew if Summer was here she would snap at him for mumbling but he knew Ryan didn't mind, because Ryan mumbled sometimes too…plus he was unconscious.

"Dude wake up? You in there?" He asked leaning closer to Ryan's ear, knowing he hated that. When he received no response he sighed deeply, leaning back in his chair. Time to use his old trick… He eyes Ryan's arm, laying limply on top of the blankets and reached out. He rolled up his leave before pinching the back of his hand hard. He drew back his hand in defeat when a hoarse voice made him jump about 3 feet in the air.

"I've been awake for about 5 minutes you know." Ryan mumbled quietly, his eyes still closed. Seth recovered his heart hammering before a large grin spread across his face. Ryan slowly opened his eyes and started to smile. Suddenly it seemed as if nothing had happened, they weren't in the hospital anymore, they were in the pool house playing PS2 or watching TV in the den. Seth bumped knuckled with his brother still grinning.

"You're a dick, you know that?" He said laughing despite himself. Ryan smiled before trying to sit up but decided better of it. He remained silent not sure of what to say, he would rely on Seth to start a conversation he usually did.

"So, how are you feeling? And don't say fine or I'll get Dad in here to smother you with questions and fuss over you, then you can get ready for the lecture we both have in store." He said with a slight grin. Ryan rolled his eyes and leant back against his pillows, truth be told he felt pretty dreadful.

"Truthfully, not great. What happened? Last thing I remember was getting ready for…oh crap Marissa!" He said sitting up suddenly. Seth swore under his breath, he knew he had forgotten to call someone but he hadn't wanted to turn his phone back on after his episode with Summer…

"Don't worry about it now man. Basically I came back to get my phone and you were on the floor and, you wouldn't wake up…you scared me man!" He said as images flashed through his head bringing everything back…Ryan frowned and scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Does Sandy know about…about before?" He asked swallowing hard knowing he was due for a massive lecture if the answer was yes. Seth nodded

"But hey, at least we'll be in this one together." He said

There was a long pause both of them just thinking until Ryan broke the silence.

"Seth, do you know what's wrong with me?" He asked softly, looking Seth straight in the eyes. Seth looked back at his brother, feeling sick as his stomach seemed to bottom out. He had been dreading this question. He looked down at the floor nervously, his hands shaking slightly before drawing his gaze back up to Ryan's.

"I…They don't know right now but…they said it was…they think it's your heart man." He stammered as Ryan paled visibly, he looked down at the duvet, picking at the hem nervously. There was a long silence whilst Seth stared worriedly at his brother not knowing what to do or say to comfort him or…he sighed.

"Are you okay?"

Ryan looked up suddenly his expression blank and the lost look in his eyes was gone, replaced by a mask, hiding his emotions.

"Can you call Marissa for me?" He said dodging the question completely. Seth knew what he was doing but he wasn't going to press it.

"Sure, you better prepare yourself for wrath of the Eyebrows man." He said with a grin trying to lighten the mood. Ryan managed a weak smile in return, before falling silent again. Lost in his own thoughts.

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A/N So I know it was pretty uneventful but I wanted some Cohens POV sort of thing and how they deal with thing. If you Review like good little readers then you will get another post 1That sound fair:)

Next Time: The Girls come to visit Ryan and Sandy talks to him. We find out what is wrong with Ryan and Sandy calls Kirsten

Thanks Guys!

Rach X


	6. Come Home

A/N Hey this is a new version of the previous chapter because I had to edit it due to some inconsistencies that were pointed out to me, so hopefully this makes sense. I will be updating soon and I am starting a new post in about 3 minutes. Hope you had a Merry Chrismukkah and a Good New Year!

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Sandy sighed deeply looking up at the ceiling and blinking back tears of frustration as the dial tone sounded in his ear, holding the receiver with one hand, his other hand shoved deep into his pocket. The ringing finished with a click as a cool clipped voice answered the phone.

"Suriak rehabilitation centre, how may I help you?" The woman asked. Sandy sighed.

"I uh need to talk to my wife, Kirsten Cohen. It's an emergency." He said shakily, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"She's in group right now, is it important?" The woman asked. Sandy rolled his eyes.

"I said it was an emergency didn't I? Her son is in hospital and I need to talk to her okay." He said angrily, he knew he shouldn't be taking it out on her but he was just venting…

"Um okay sir, I'll just contact her group leader. One second." The woman said hurriedly, obviously hoping to get off the line so she didn't have to what Seth would call "Psycho Lawyer Sandy". He muttered a quick thanks before the line went silent for a while. Whilst he was waiting he looked down the corridor to the door of Ryan's room and sighed deeply. He should have been there for the kid. He should have realised something was wrong before something like this happened. He hoped everything would be okay, he didn't think this family could take it if it wasn't. He knew he had let the boys down and he promised that from now on he would make time for them and be the good father he knew he could be. They at least deserved that. At last someone came onto the line.

"Sandy?"

Sandy felt a rush of relief and happiness as his wife's soft timid voice filled his ears. It felt like he hadn't spoken to her in a lifetime and just hearing her voice again made him think that everything would be okay, Kirsten would make it okay. How was he going to tell her what happened? Would it trigger everything off again? He had to tell her, she had a right to know…

"Hey honey." He managed weakly, gripping the phone tightly.

"Sandy what's going on? They said something about an emergency? Are the boys okay?" She asked hurriedly her voice rising with panic as she ran through all the possible scenarios in her head. The fact that Sandy hadn't immediately said anything to quell her fears did nothing to comfort her.

"Um…no they're not…I…It's Ryan." He stammered swallowing hard as a lump rose in his throat. How could he tell her this was his fault? Or That he didn't even know what was wrong with Ryan?

"Sandy, what's happened? What's wrong with him? Tell me." She said determinedly, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. She had known this was going to be bad when they pulled her from group, and the look the doctor gave her when he handed her the phone…She needed to know if Ryan was okay, after what she had said to him at the intervention she needed him to know she didn't mean it…she had told him on the phone when she spoke to him but something in their relationship had changed. It was like he thought that she thought of him in a guest in her house still…she needed him to know that he was her son.

"I…He's in the hospital. He, he collapsed and they don't know what is wrong but…they think it's his heart Kirsten. I don't know what to do! I can't help thinking this is my fault, I should have noticed he wasn't feeling well but I've been so busy with work and taking care of everything that I just didn't…I don't know what to do!" Sandy said desperately pleading to his wife as tears started in his eyes. He had been trying to hold them back the whole time but he couldn't do it anymore…He sank down into a nearby chair still holding the phone tightly and wiping his eyes hurriedly.

"Sandy, calm down okay. Listen to me, you need to hold it together for Ryan and Seth okay? None of this is your fault, it's not your fault Ryan is sick and I know you've been doing so much and I am so proud of you. I'm going to come as soon as I can, I'm sure they'll let me have a weekend past. Just hold on okay, I'm coming and it'll be okay. Remember this isn't your fault. As soon as you find anything out, call me okay. I need to talk to the doctors and I'll come Sandy…I'll come."

"Okay…thanks Kirsten. I love you." He whispered

Kirsten swallowed hard tears burning in her eyes

"I love you too, tell Ryan I'm coming okay?" She said forcing back the oncoming tears. She had been trying to stay strong for Sandy through the conversation but now it was all coming out…

"I will, bye."

"Bye." She whispered her voice cracking as she hung up the phone and promptly burst into tears…

Sandy walked slowly down the corridor his head down as he prepared himself for talking to Ryan. He didn't know what to say, should he apologise for not being there for him? Lecture him for not telling him about everything? Sympathise..? He couldn't do this. He needed Kirsten, she'd know what to say, what to do…I guess he just had to have a go, wing it…talking was what he was supposed to be good at, he was a lawyer after all. He looked up and saw Seth closing the door to Ryan's room behind him, their gazes met.

"Is he awake?" Sandy asked quietly. Seth nodded and frowned slightly at his father's opinion, he looked awful.

"I'm just going to call Marissa for him…Dad go easy on him okay, save the lectures for later. I know he's pretending he's fine with this but he's scared too." Seth said softly. Sandy nodded and forced a smile

"Thanks son." He said placing his hand on Ryan's door. Seth smiled back

"Just don't talk him half to death either." He said with a smile before walking off down the corridor. Seth had answered all those questions for him, all he had to do was to be there for Ryan. He opened the door slowly and came face to face with a familiar scene but this time Ryan was awake. He was propped up in bed, head back against a mound of pillows looking bored, miserable and highly irritated. He met Ryan's glazed blue eyes and Ryan forced a weak smile which Sandy eventually managed to return. He raised a hand in a half wave.

"Hey." He said as he shut the door behind him and shuffled in awkwardly. Ryan sat up slightly

"Hey." He said nervously waiting for the lecture to begin.

"How are you feeling?" Sandy asked eyeing the monitor Ryan was hooked to and the various tubes and wire, his pale complexion didn't help…Ryan sighed slightly and yawned.

"Tired…not great to be honest." He said avoiding Sandy's gaze, he knew he was going to be mad. Dawn had always been mad when she found Ryan in hospital, even if she could have prevented it. He shouldn't be comparing Sandy to Dawn, they were nothing alike. Sandy cared for him enough to lecture him, Dawn never gave a damn.

"Ryan I…I just want to say I'm sorry. For not being there for you and Seth the last few weeks. I should have noticed something was wrong and I've just been so busy with work and Kirsten stuff that…I know that shouldn't be an excuse but…I'm sorry and I hope you know that I am here for you, and everything will be okay." He said suddenly, breaking the pattern of awkward small talk. Ryan swallowed, slightly taken aback by Sandy's sudden outburst of apologies.

"Sandy it's.." He began but he was cut off by Sandy

"I should have noticed that you weren't feeling well and I should have asked you if you were okay, I should have been around the house more. I just forget that you're still kids and I just had so much to deal with. I know it's not an excuse. But why didn't you come to me? I know that this has happened before and you and Seth kept it secret but you should have told me…" He said sadly looking at Ryan who was staring down at his hands and blinking hurriedly.

"I know, I'm sorry but…I just didn't want to add something else to your mind because you already had enough to deal with and I didn't think it was anything serious." He mumbled wringing his hands as Sandy sighed.

"Ryan, you have to realise that you are more important that work and stupid problems like that. You come first. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you…I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Ryan but…just come to me if you have a problem." He said softly meeting Ryan's shining blue eyes. Ryan nodded softly

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. Sandy swallowed hard.

"Come here kid." He said reaching out and hugging Ryan tightly. Ryan stiffened slightly at first before relaxing into his arms.

"I don't know what's wrong with me Sandy…" He said quietly into Sandy's shoulder. Sandy rubbed his back softly.

"I'm sure it's nothing terrible, they're taking you for more tests and then you'll know okay? And whatever it is, we'll help you through it okay?" He said pulling back from Ryan who nodded and forced a half smile. Sandy felt a lot better, just that moment had shown how far they had come with Ryan. When they first took him in even resting a hand on his shoulder would cause him to jump about a foot in the air and now he could hug him like he was his own son.

"Oh and Kirsten's coming to see you, her doctors said it was okay."

Ryan nodded. Sandy rubbed his shoulder gently.

"It'll be okay."

Ryan swallowed hard his eyes stinging.

"I hope so."

Meanwhile

Seth chewed impatiently on the biro in his hand as he waited for Marissa to pick up the phone, ring after ring echoing across the line as he let out a sigh.

"Come on…pick up." He muttered to himself.

The phone rang twice more before a click signified the phone being answered.

"Hello?"

"Marissa, it's Seth. I.." He began uncertainly before Marissa's jumped in first.

"Seth I've been trying to call you, Summer told me what happened, we're on our way there now." Marissa said quickly as Summer rounded a corner sharply. Seth swallowed feeling guilty, Summer was still coming even though he had been such a dick to her earlier.

"Um okay…it's just Ryan asked me to call you so…" He began but he was quickly cut off by Marissa.

"Is he okay? What's actually wrong with him? I mean he spoke to you so he's awake right?"She asked frantically her voice wavering as Summer sped along the road stopping at the traffic lights and turning to Marissa listening to her half of the conversation.

"Um yeah, they're taking him for tests. They don't really know what is going on right now, I uh…I better go. I'll see you soon then." He said eager to finish the conversation before Marissa burst into tears on him, he wasn't good with crying girls.

"Um okay, thanks Seth." She said hanging up the phone and turning to Summer.

"No change." She said miserably. Summer sighed tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.

"Come on let's get going…

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A/N- Hope this works!

Next Time: Kirsten comes back to see Ryan and he gets his results back...


	7. Heartbeats

A/N Hey guys I know it's been ridiculously long since I last posted but I've been really busy, hopefully people are still reading, Please review!

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"There he is, there's Cohen!" Summer cried as she and Marissa wandered along the corridor looking lost. Marissa spun around her heart pounding as they quickened their pace and run towards Seth. He was sitting in a chair, his shoulders hunched and his head down eyes to the floor.

"Seth!" Summer said loudly causing him to slowly look up in their direction and to frown before he got to his feet shakily as Summer broke into a run. She threw herself into his arms causing him to stumble backwards, gasping as the breath was knocked out of him. After getting over the initial shock of the tiny brunette launching herself upon him he curled his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug as she began to babble quickly.

"Cohen, I am so sorry. I didn't know and when I was on the phone I thought you had stood me up and I was so mean and if you'd have just told me, I mean usually you're the first to get a word in and if you'd just told me then maybe I wouldn't have put my foot in it in a true Coheny fashion but I am so sorry…I"

Seth cut her off in mid sentence with a slight smile despite himself.

"You're babbling Summer." He said looking down at her as she flushed slightly. Marissa stood awkwardly to the side watching the two of them and shifting from foot to foot obviously waiting to find out about Ryan.

"Sorry." She said her cheeks still tinged with pink as she pulled away from Seth and studied him, he looked exhausted.

"It doesn't matter Summer, I was upset. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that, it wasn't fair on you." He said before kissing her softly on the forehead. Marissa sighed, she couldn't take it anymore now they had kissed and made up she could find out how _her_ boyfriend was. As Seth and Summer began to kiss she cleared her throat and stepped forward.

"Yeah guys? Sorry to break up the love-fest here but how is Ryan? What's going on?" She asked causing Seth and Summer to break apart in embarrassment.

"Sorry, well he had some tests and I think he's sleeping right now but they should get the results back soon. So maybe they can find out what is actually wrong with him." Seth said as Marissa nodded holding back tears again. She wasn't going to cry, crying wouldn't help anything, it wouldn't help Ryan.

"Can I go see him?" Marissa asked in a small voice looking hopefully up at Seth who chewed on his bottom lip uncertainly. The last thing Ryan would need was a sobbing Marissa but he didn't have the heart to say no…

"Uh…yeah sure." He said at last. Marissa smiled and Summer put an arm around Seth supportively.

"I'll uh, take you to him." He mumbled before shuffling down the corridor. He was glad Summer was here, his dad was too busy worrying about Ryan and he needed someone to talk to. He needed someone to be there for him too…he couldn't get the image of Ryan lying on the poolhouse floor out of his head..

He didn't even notice that they had reached the door already, he was too busy replaying that moment over and over, feeling sick. He just wanted his brother to be okay. He let Marissa rush past him into the room and Summer shot him a sympathetic smile before leaning into him.

"He'll be okay Cohen, he's kid Chino. He's tough, he'll be fine." She said reassuringly as Seth nodded slowly wishing he could believe her.

"I hope you're right Sum.."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marissa closed the door behind her, her hands trembling as they gripped the doorhandle. He was lying in the bed, eyes closed as he slept peacefully. He looked fine, it looked like there was nothing wrong with him but she knew that wasn't true. People didn't pass out if there was nothing wrong with them. She made her way slowly over to the bed, her legs shaking unsteadily beneath her as she looked down at his sleeping form, fighting to hold back the tears that burned in her eyes.

He stirred slightly, his head moving to the side as his eyelids fluttered. He groaned slightly and his eyelids fluttered open. His blue eyes darted around before finally focusing in on the girl in front of him. He swallowed, his throat dry and looked up at her, his blood rushing in his ears.

"Hey." She whispered her voice cracking slightly as she drew nearer the bed. Ryan flushed slightly, he had hoped she wouldn't have to see him in here but he was glad to see her none the less.

"Hey" He said back, sitting up slightly…being careful not to disturb the IV attached to the back of his hand. She shifted on the spot awkwardly. She looked as if she had been crying and suddenly he felt guilty. This was so awkward, it was then that he remembered he had technically stood her up.

"I uh…I'm sorry I sort of stood you up I.." He began but he was quickly cut off by her as she sat at his bedside.

"Ryan don't be stupid. This isn't your fault okay. Don't worry about it, I mean I didn't think our first date after…I didn't think it would be at a hospital but hey you've always been full of surprises." She said with a smile which Ryan returned, flushing slightly.

"Well you know me…" He said, suddenly it was like he had forgotten he was stuck in hospital waiting to find out what was wrong with him and it was like things were back to normal and it was just him and Marissa. He swallowed trying to get rid of the weird feeling that had now overtaken him, he was suddenly embarrassed and he flushed again. Marissa smiled as she watched him turn red, he was so cute. But she was sorry worried about him right now, she needed to know that he would be okay.

"You really scared me today Ry…when Summer called I…I didn't know what to do. I just kept thinking what I'd do if I lost you and…I don't want to lose you Ryan. After everything that happened this Summer we kind of drifted apart and this made me realise that I don't want that to happen again. I can't lose you again Ryan…I love you."

Ryan looked up at her his eyes wide, he didn't know what to say. There was a long silence and Marissa looked away suddenly flushing and wringing her hands as Ryan looked down at his lap. Oh god what had she done? It was too soon, why was she so stupid? Ryan tried to speak but nothing came out, blood was pounding in his ears and his heart racing…

"I…I'm sorry I didn't mean…I"

"No…I…I love you too." Ryan stammered tripping over his words, Marissa's gleaming eyes met his and a smile crept across her face, he returned the smile as she reached for his hand. She leant slowly forward and their lips met softly, before they enveloped each other in a passionate kiss. He curled his free hand around the back of her neck and she smiled into his mouth. They were interrupted by the door opening and they sprung apart.

"Oh I'll uh come back later." The Doctor said as they both shifted away from each other embarrassedly.

"No uh it's fine." Ryan mumbled feeling heat rush to his cheeks. Sandy, Seth and Summer appeared behind the doctor. Summer offered a small wave which Ryan returned with a smile. They would have greeted each other better but the doctor was there and looking serious.

"Can I talk to Mr Atwood and Mr Cohen alone please?" He asked politely with a smile, Marissa glanced at Ryan worriedly before kissing him on the cheek and leaving the room slowly behind Summer and Seth. Sandy glanced across at the doctor as the door shut behind them and sighed looking back at Ryan and offering him a reassuring smile.

"So how are you feeling Ryan?" Dr Murray said cheerfully as Ryan looked up and offered a weak smile.

"Okay I guess." He said as Sandy walked over to the bed and stood next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder supportively.

"Good, well we have your test results back and I'm sure you want to know what's going on." He started peering over his glasses. Sandy looked down at Ryan and smiled weakly and Ryan swallowed feeling sick as his stomach churned, tying itself in knots.

"Well after the ECG and Echo tests it has become apparent what has been causing your symptoms…You have Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, otherwise known as HCM. I know that will probably mean nothing to you so let me explain. Basically it is a heart disorder which causes the muscle around the heart to grow at an increased rate meaning the muscle around the heart becomes thicker which results in the heart having to do more work to pump blood around the body. This is what has been causing the blackouts and chest pain you've been experience. I know this sounds alarming but thousands of people live normal lives with HCM."

Ryan blinked, looking down at his hands uncertainly as he tried to process all the information he had just been given…HCM? A heart condition? Why had it only just happened now? It seemed Sandy could read minds as he voiced his thoughts, his voice shaking slightly. Ryan couldn't bring himself to look at him…

"Why has his…c…condition only become apparent now?"

"That's a good question, with a disorder such as HCM it usually only becomes apparent in late teens or in athletes or those who take part in a lot of sport. It's sometimes known as Sudden Death Syndrome as many patients don't know they have it until it is too late but Ryan was very lucky that his symptoms became apparent before it was too late."

Silence fell on the room as Ryan closed his eyes and fought back a sigh, he couldn't take this in. He had a heart condition?

"I know this is a lot to take in right now but like I said many people live normal lives with this condition. Now there are two options for treatment…The first is that you take medication daily but this would prevent you from playing sport excessively as the job of the medication is to slow things down for you so your heart doesn't have to work hard. The drugs usually cause fatigue as a side effect. The other possibility is surgery, it's a procedure in which small pieces of the muscle around the heart are removed to allow freer movement however the surgery carries its own risks."

Ryan began to shut down as the doctor explained the prospects of surgery to Sandy. He could have to have surgery? He had only had surgery once in his life when he was about six and he had his appendix out, but he had a bad reaction to the anaesthesia and ended up spending weeks in hospital…A few weeks…no days ago he had felt fine but suddenly he was being told there was something wrong with his heart? He could hear the doctor talking but he wasn't taking in anything he was saying and it wasn't until Sandy called his name and shook him slightly that he realised he was being spoken to.

"Ryan? So I said I'd give you a while to think about it…I'll be back later to check on you and talk over some more things whilst this sinks in…" He said with a smile before leaving. The door shut and silence filled the room again. Sandy looked down at Ryan and he gave his shoulder a slight squeeze.

"You alright kiddo?" He asked softly not expecting an answer. Ryan shook his head gently.

"No" He whispered and that was when Sandy pulled him into a tight hug…

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A/N So guys what do you think? i know it was short but oh well, you finally know what is wrong with Ryan. BTW Just to let you know I didn't copy this from One Tree Hill, I knew about HCM way before OTH because A close friend of mine has it! So this is for him, dedicated to Matt! Hope you guys liked it, please review! 


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